


by the sun and moon i swore (that i would never flee)

by genesis_frog



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Drabble, Episode Tag, F/M, Gen, Pining, can be read as romantic or platonic, for campaign 2 episode 96, spell components as metaphor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-19 01:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22836409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genesis_frog/pseuds/genesis_frog
Summary: It is easier to meet Nott's gaze than anyone else's.
Relationships: Nott & Caleb Widogast, Nott/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	by the sun and moon i swore (that i would never flee)

Meeting Nott's gaze is easy. Easier than looking anyone else in the eyes, when he is left too vulnerable, too Seen. For a pair of people who've spent years trying to hide, eye contact, with Nott, is easy - and when that is too much, Caleb's eyes shift to the place on her forehead where he might now place a pearl. (Now, the curls of her glimmering aquamarine tattoo almost create a space for it, a place the pearl might fit perfectly. But he never puts it there, only thinks of it.)

He doesn't understand why eye contact with her is easy, exactly. Perhaps it is the fact he has known Nott so long, or trusted her when he trusted nobody, or perhaps because he worked and struggled with her, when they were weak and hungry and wayward. Perhaps it is because he has spilled his own guts in front of her so many times; never quite everything, but enough that she Sees him. She sees more of him than anyone else and that _terrifies_ him.

But there are some secrets he still keeps, thoughts that play on loop in his head, words that get stuck in his throat, and then he cannot bear to look at her face at all. He chokes on the beach and looks down at his lap; _loyalty_ , he says. He dances around the truth in a temple; _I would miss you_ , he says. Never quite managing to form his thought into the right words, ever uncertain if this, too, is a secret he _wants_ to keep, or one that he _must_.

**Author's Note:**

> i noticed a parallel in the latest episode of caleb looking down at certain moments during convos with nott and i just [eyes emoji] and wrote this at 4 am when i was trying to fall asleep
> 
> title is from bitter water by the oh hellos


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